I accidentally did that on purpose
by ebonyphoenixfeather
Summary: A story that proves whether or not Jinx thinks she is actually crazy... or not


Most people think I'm crazy. They're wrong.

I'm sitting here tinkering with one of my tiny robot monkeys, bored out of my mind. Well okay, I'm actually just knocking it over, again and again, and giggling as it tries to stand back up - but that's not important. What _is_ important is that I'm sitting here tinkering with one of my tiny robot monkeys with a pretty new pair of goggles on my head.

Want to know where I got them? Of course you do, Fishbones.

It was early last night, say about two o'clock, when I decided I needed to figure out what havoc I was gonna wreak next. I'd say I'm pretty spontaneous, but sometimes you just gotta plan mayhem ahead if you want to have some serious fun. And I was in the mood for some serious fun.

Actually, the last time I had any kinda fun was an excruciating three days ago. I broke into that airhead explorer's house and played with his bazillion funky artifacts. I left him a couple dozen personal notes too. I don't think he came back from his so called adventure yet though, boo-hoo. I'll have to cash in on that visit later.

So, I was in the mood for some serious fun when - _wait_ _one_ _timewinding_ _minute_ \- I realized hadn't played with my favorite toys for the whole week! I mean, how could I leave them neglected for that long? What kinda diabolical mastermind criminal would people think I am?

Something needed to be done, so I rocketed over to the station right then and there.

In case you didn't know, I'm happy to fill you in: my favorite toys are Piltover's finest (I dunno how you didn't know that though, loser).

From my bangin' lair, it only takes about five minutes to waltz on over to my favorite play pen. If they knew I was a rifle's shot away from their dopey headquarters this whole time, they'd have a real fit. It'd probably be so spectacular that I might just let them in on it someday.

It was a nice shade of dark outside when I crept my way into their lame-o building. Crossing through the lobby, I quietly slid past work stations on my way towards the back. By that I mean, I ran through the hallways dropping a trail of purple exploding candies everywhere. I gotta leave my mark, ya know?

There wasn't anybody around since those weirdos sleep at night. I bounced around the "police department", searching for my prey. The place is pretty bleak. It's all stone with polished wood floors and everything is disgustingly clean, yuck. Even their mountains of paperwork are piled in neat stacks on their desks. They were outright screaming at me to knock them over - which I did. Oops.

I'd been there a few times before, so I kinda knew what I was doing. I discovered the officers' quarters when I peeked through a big wooden door in the very back hallway. I could hear some snores and saw some occupied bunk beds in the dim light. Not my target though. Boo.

Next, I pulled open the opposite door. To my glee, I saw a tuft of bright pink hair sticking up out of the only bed in the room. This time, I was quiet for real when I crept inside. That pink hair comes with an owner who packs a mean punch and I'm pretty sure is not a light sleeper. (I almost screwed up when I realized I must have looked like a clown ninja wannabe hybrid and wanted to laugh. I caught myself though. I am a professional criminal, after all).

I took one glance at my victim before getting to work.

I'll spare you all the itty-bitty details, but let's just say I used up most of my pink marker _and_ my pink lipstick before making my getaway with sleeping beauty's prized pair of goggles (among other personal effects). On my way out, I hung her underthings on the flagpole outside the station. If you're not laughing at my genius on that one, you have issues.

Anyway, I left her a note - on her face - telling her to swing by and pick up her stuff at 'xxx' warehouse on 'xx' street whenever she so pleased. Now I'm sitting on a cargo box at 'xxx' warehouse on 'xx' street, bored to death. You'd think people would act with a little bit of punctuality in these situations...

 _BOOM_!

The door on the other end of the warehouse explodes, dust filling the air. Morning light streams inside. I squint and bounce up off my seat.

I can see a silhouette framed up against the fresh opening. You'd also think people would learn to knock first... As the dust starts to settle, I make out the look on my visitor's face. I'm already winning, because she is totally pissed.

This. Is. Gonna. Be. Awesome.

"What brings you here?" I try to sound annoying, which isn't very hard.

Vi's looking at me with adorable hate in her eyes. I'm kinda hurt that she didn't bother to look pretty for me - she obviously just got out of bed. She's fully geared though, her big ridiculous metal hands clenched in fists. But what brings a massive grin to my face is her bare head, devoid of its fancy goggles.

"Today is the day I catch you," Vi growls through gritted teeth. Even though I've heard that so many times, it still gives me a laugh.

"You couldn't catch me if I had poros for hands," I tease. I scoop up my mech monkey and jump on top of the box I'm sitting on. I'm ready to go, but not without getting her riled up first. Why eat your food before you've poked, wriggled, and jiggled it?

"I heard you redecorated your room last night. I didn't know you were so girly. I also heard your you-know-whats match your hair. Is that true?"

She doesn't reply. Instead, she's running full speed across the room towards me. Her metal boots clack loudly on the stone floor as she approaches.

"So they do? That is just _vile_ ," I say, stressing the 'vi' before giggling uncontrollably. I am so clever.

Vi doesn't agree, because the next moment I'm leaping out of the way of her huge-ugly-metal-monster-gauntlet hand. It crashes into the box I was standing on, wooden pieces flying through the air as I perch on a higher stack. This whole warehouse is filled with crates of every size. Some are piled on top of each other all the way to the ceiling. Right now, they're my outrageous haphazard staircase.

"That could have hurt me, stupid," I say, pouting.

"That's the point." She jumps on a box level to me and takes another swing. I somersault away just in time, feeling a _whoosh_ of air from the force behind her punch. Playing with Vi means flirting with danger - but danger is how I get my biggest rush.

Adrenaline starts coursing through my veins. It's playtime.

Vi comes at me, smashing a crate of who-knows-what, while I grab one of my miniguns from its holster. I try to aim at her but she's on me again fast, punching at the boxes beneath me. I jump up higher and try to gain distance, using my free hand for leverage as I dance through the levels of crates. I fire a rocket backwards without looking, giggling at the top of my lungs.

Just as I round a corner, Vi catapults down in front of me, blocking my path. I fumble as I try to come to a stop, almost tripping over my feet. I spin around and her fist barely clips the start of my braid, near the strap of her goggles.

"If you wanted your eyewear back so bad, all you had to do was ask."

"I don't care about taking back the goggles. I'm going to take you back with me instead."

"Hmm, you're right - they look better on me anyways."

I fire my mini gun at the box right below her feet and it explodes. The whole tower beneath it goes down, and so does Vi. I can hear her yelling angrily from below but I'm too busy laughing to make out what she's saying. She's such a dummy.

I climb, swing, and skip my way over to a pile of boxes that stand halfway to the top of the warehouse. Once I'm there, I perch down on it like a cat. Vi is circling around the mess we made on the ground, glaring up at me. I blow her a kiss.

Vi throws her fist into the bottom of my cargo fortress forcing me to leap onto another. She decimates the bottom of that one too, so I move again. Soon we're playing a predictable game of me jumping from tower to tower and her destroying them all from the bottom up. Her gauntlets smash into box after box, causing waterfalls of product and debri. Like I said, she's such a dummy.

All of a sudden, I'm running out of places to jump. I make my way over to the only part of the place that's not destroyed yet. As she crashes through the last few crates, I leap off my final platform and land on a windowsill. Up here next to the only window in the building, I'm far out of Vi's reach.

For a second, she just freezes, standing there like a yordle who hasn't seen their friends in weeks.

Baited, hooked, caught - game over.

I'm surprised, and a little disappointed, that her jaw doesn't drop as she gazes at what we've done. The floor can't be seen under mountains of wreckage from every kinda cargo you can imagine. I'm talking guns, bolts, nuts, fruits, garments, candies, stuffed teddy bears, all kinds of goodies strewn everywhere. It's gotta be half of Piltover's incoming and outgoing shipments. They're littered with splinters of wood and there's so much dust that it's creating a funky haze in the air. It's a big fat expensive disaster.

I kinda had this idea somewhere in the middle of playing midair collapsing hopscotch. I'm a genius, I know.

Vi slowly lifts up her eyes to meet mine. It seems like she also remembers to put on her angry face. She's breathing pretty hard. I realize I'm still catching my breath too. I squat down and place my chin in my hands, tilting my head.

"It looks like you made a mess," I yell down at her, transforming my lips into a big mocking frown. "I don't think hat lady is gonna be very happy."

She doesn't respond.

" _Pew_ _pew_!" I jump up and act like I'm firing my mini gun at her.

Silence.

"Helloooo?"

Her fist collides with the stone wall below me, causing thunder to sound. Everything shakes and I stumble while trying to keep my balance. Though I can't see the damage, I'm pretty sure she left some cracks. I imagine actual smoke rising all around her as she seethes below me.

"Why do you keep toying with me, Jinx?" There's fire in her voice.

I'm laughing before I know it, leaning on the window to hold myself upright. My toy is asking me why I'm toying with her! I fasten my gun back into place just so I have another hand to clutch my stomach.

"Because it's so much FUN!" It takes me a while to get the whole thought out of my mouth in between giggles. I feel like I'm gonna choke from glee.

"Shut it and come face me," she roars.

"Nah, I don't think so." I have to wipe a tear before I continue, "It seems like you have a lot of cleaning up to do." I flip the window latch and start to slide out. I stop halfway, a big grin spreading on my face.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot." I reach up and free the goggles from my head, my braids sliding through them. "Here ya go," I say, as I toss them over the ledge. They spin a few times before landing at Vi's feet.

She's immobile, now staring at my parting gift. I'm guessing she's trying to process her total, utter, and complete defeat.

"Bye bye," I blow her one last kiss and finish making my exit from the warehouse.

Vi bolts outside, expecting to catch me down on the ground, but I've swung up onto the roof. I run, leap, and roll my way from rooftop to rooftop as she pursues me on the ground. Passersby jump out of her way as she blitzes through them.

It's not long before the maze of streets starts to slow her down. Glancing behind me, I realize I'm on the brink of losing her. Just before I vanish out of her line of sight, I scream one last thing:

"Vi? Stands for stupid!"

I really hope my giggles are dancing behind me on the wind.

I drop down into an alleyway and loop my way across town to my hideaway. I'm only being kinda sneaky but I still make it home without incident.

Satisfied, I collapse onto my makeshift bed, stretching out my whole body. It's approaching noon, as good a time as any for bedtime. Soon, I'm remembering Vi's dummy face and how much fun it's gonna be to watch hat lady chew her out later.

I roll back and forth between my cushions and blankets, laughing to the point of tears. Before I know it, I've cackled my way to sleep.

Most people think I'm crazy. They're wrong.

I'm setting-your-sister-on-fire-with-pink-flamingo-firecracker-flamethrower-flames crazy.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Except maybe with rainbow instead of pink.

Bye bye for now, Fishbones. I'll see you at the other end of the rocket launcher.


End file.
